the dutch attitude toward children

having been here in amsterdam for about 6 weeks i feel like i can talk about the dutch attitude toward children. of course, these are only my observations from the varied, albeit limited, interactions with dutch children. they seem to be much more laid back with their children than mainstream america (of which i am not a member)

take child safety for instance - it is much more like when i was growing up than the current american attitude. although almost all children are transported by bicycle, i would have to estimate that no more than 5% of them wear helmets, and even that might be generous. i have seen infants in car seat buckets clipped onto bikes. i have seen slumped over sleeping infants being propped up in their bike seat by their mothers, leaving them with only 1 hand to bike with. lots of children ride on the backs of bikes, my own included, without bike seats. toddlers ride their own bikes amongst traffic.

i am pretty certain that water wings are nonexistant here. playground equipment is much more 'dangerous' than at home.

they are also less closely monitored here. i am not sure if that is just a function of city life - playgrounds being more crowded than i am used to, and therefore, less supervision? maybe i have just become adjusted to small town midwestern playground rules since hanging up my city slicker badge? for instance, i was in a crowded playgrount at Artis, the amsterdam zoo. a toddler boy climbes up on a platform where my 2 kids are and pushes them both off and into the sand below. the child's mother was not obvious to me - certainly not hovering over him like i see so frequently at home. i told the child not to do that but i am sure he didn't understand a word i said.

they are also very fond of children being children. they don't seem overly scheduled with lessons and activities. they are allowed to play freely in the park on a daily basis - i see the regulars in a local park by me all the time. they don't seem overly apologetic when something bad happens. at library storytime one day one toddler just walked over to another and pushed her roughly down to the ground. at home that would illicit apologies from one mom to the other and a reprimand to the child. here it went unnoticed, as if nothing had happened, while both mothers obviously saw what happened. i ran into a mom that i recognized from the park at the school david will be attending for a few weeks (more on that topic shortly). upon mentioned why we were there she wondered why i would send him when i didn't have to and then said something about he should attend school if he wants to, as if it should only be his decision to go or not.

they also have very flexible work hours which allowes them much more time during the week with their children than in the US. our neighbors across the street for example - both parents work approximately 4 days a week (with rather flexible hours) which allows them to be home with their kids after school for 3 days of the week. they also have something called daddy's day in which a man can stay home 1 day a week to be with his children. they also have much more vacation from their employers and can easily take days off to accomodate kid's school schedules.

i enjoy seeing a much more laid back attitude toward parenting - simply enjoying your child and letting your kids explore and play without parental hovering. i was never a fan of water wings anyway.