the joys of craig's list

let me recount the story of finding our rental place in amsterdam for all of you who didn't get to experience that first-hand.  oh, what a joyful time that was - scouring in internet for site unseen places to house my family.   i thought about it all day and sometimes all night.  at times waking up after a very short sleep with the images of craig's list postings in my head.

call me naive but i figured 'hey, how hard can it be to find a suitable and affordable short term rental in a fabulous location on another continent?'.   i mean is it too much to ask for an affordable 2 bedroom apartment NOT on the 4,5, or 6th floor located on a nice canal street?  that is fully furnished and includes utilities?  that will accept a 3 month lease from people they will  never have met before?   you can start to see where i am going with this, right?

i began with craig's list where they had a huge section of short term rentals and sublets in english.   sweet.  i started responding to only the most promising listings.  since it was early december and i didnt need a place until february i was being a little picky.  'oh, that place is up 4 rickety flights of stairs?  i think i will pass' was uttered a few times.  'hmmm, this is canal adjacent, but  not really on a canal street.  yes, you can see the canal from the bedroom window but i think i will pass' may have been said.

about a week went by and i started to figure the whole thing out.  see, on craig's list you have to wade through many, and i  mean many, fake listings.  i got pretty good at feeling the listing out to see if it was legit or not.  at first i had a few exchanges with people only to drop them after i realized they were all the same.  

but seriously, how stupid are these craig's list scammers?  they are all the same.  

'I have a two bedroom apartment for rent in Amsterdam.It's a fully furnished apartment and it's going to be available for a while because i work for "INSERT NAME OF CHARITY HERE" and just got transferred to West Africa.I'm presently there and my apartment is up for rent.
 
I'm looking for a responsible person that can take very good care of the apartment as I'm not after the money for the rent but i want the apartment to be clean and my belongings well taken care of. I have the keys here in Africa and will send them to you DHL express upon signing an agreement'
 

first of all, DHL is out of business, so try picking a carrier that actually delivers these days.  and who doesn't care about the rent money?  and do we really have that many people doing charity work in Africa??  another popular one is:

'I am renting out my mother's apartment for her.  She is currently in London seeking medical treatment.'

great, just what i want.   to live in your sick mother's apartment.. 

other popular parts of the scam listings is a series of questions they want you to answer.  I cannot tell you how many times I was sent this same list of questions. 

* What is your full name?
* What city do you reside currently?
* Why do you seek another apartment?
* What is your occupation?
* Are you fully employed?
* What is your estimated monthly rent budget?
* How many bedrooms do you seek?
* How many people will be living in the flat?
* When do you intend to move in?
* What area do you intend to live in?
* How long will you stay in the flat?
* Are you keeping any pets?

* What is your religion?

* Are you born-again?

putting aside the bizarre religion questions, this list is just ridiculous.  why would you care how many bedrooms i am loooking for?  either you have a 2 bedroom apartment available or you don't. I am surprised they don't ask you for your social security number and mother's maiden name.  

after i found craig's list not so helpful i ventured out into the world of websites designed for xpats.  the first thing you learn there is that you cannot afford a single one of them.  obviously they are all employer paid but for those prices i might as well stay in a 5 star hotel every night and have my sheets changed daily.